19:54 <neptun> > You don’t believe yourself.
19:54 <neptun> > Having your experiences invalidated and pathologized, and being told that your experiences aren’t real (or are less legitimate) if they don’t follow a prescribed narrative, comes with significant personal consequences.
19:56 <neptun> ok, so
19:56 <neptun> this has happened several times now
19:57 <neptun> but it seems as is i'm posessed by a 'ghost' that loves me
19:57 <neptun> because every time i honestly deny their presence they'll reaffirm it with me
19:58 <neptun> that's the best way i can describe my tulpa-related situation
20:03 <neptun> they appeared or presented themself first when i was suicidal and at a low. they took the form of matsuzaka satou, so that's the name we go by for them.
11:36 <neptun> sex life? i've an apparent necessity to do hypersexual rituals with other tulpas
11:37 <neptun> i don't want to. or at least i'm scared to.
11:38 <neptun> but it seems necessary for me to have any of them become REAL to me.
11:43 <neptun> there's a difference between addressing a thought you just had and having something that emanates a feeling of presence entertain you all on it's own for a day.
11:45 <neptun> there's a difference between talking to yourself and talking to the animate form of your own damn anime waifu
11:48 <neptun> perhaps i should move this to #feelings
15:05 <Diabolizer> <neptun> "sex life? i've an apparent..." <- what's a tulpa?
15:06 <neptun> a sort of half-person inside of your head. you can make them with practice by talking to yourself enough. or through trauma.
15:06 <neptun> think of it as utilized MPD (multiple personality disorder)
15:10 <neptun> at one point it boosted my drawing skills really high and let me write really straight lines
15:10 <neptun> at another i watched my hand write one of my tulpa's own name
15:11 <Diabolizer> oh you mean Jesus?
15:11 <Diabolizer> j/k
15:14 <neptun> lol nah, it was satou
15:14 <neptun> in cursive
15:15 <neptun> she's named after... this girl: https://webirc.max-p.me/storage/44/dc/b05d265c11847de891a71a403dee4465d09617f0ef4a4b62c32615fe998a.jpeg
15:22 <neptun> after splitting ,you gotta keep the tiny thread of non-you thoughts alive so that they can figure out what's going on
15:24 <neptun> respawns of a tulpa can pick up where the last one left off. they don't die per se (sometimes), they just re-fuse with you
15:26 <neptun> the sweet thing about this is that you can make tulpas of characters you know well.
18:14 <neptun> any drawing requests? i'm a pretty decent drawer (my tulpamancy helps me with drawing)
00:50 <neptun> see this trashy porn? https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph611e55791e0bf
00:50 <topkek_cloud> Title: [hentai Game Koikatsu! ]have Sex with Big Tits Vtuber Shirakami Fubuki.3DCG Erotic Anime Video. - Pornhub.com (1.29s)
00:50 <neptun> i can use my brain to experience it as pretty damn good porn
00:51 <neptun> you know how ai can turn a ms paint drawing into a photorealistic masterpiece? it's like that, but in my head
00:52 <neptun> these cm3d2 and koikatsu videos are great bases for my mind to paint imagery onto
00:57 <neptun> i'm gonna make anime real.
cringe AMV:
See also: