'No.'
   ~Tim on everything.

'Anything posted about me on the internet will be destroyed.'
   ~Tim on the internet.

'That's so yeah no I can't even yeah no.'
   ~Tim on Maddy's armpit dreads.

   <3 This article is about a real manifest egregore of our collective madness. To remain in accordance with Disneyworld state law, it is not to contain information which is considered defamatory per se. This includes allegations of drug use, sexual misconduct, or medical history. <3
   For a more in-depth explination http://www.abbottlaw.com/defamation.html'>click here.

This article is a collection of quotes, beliefs, and other information which our lord Tim has bestowed upon the hippies of Elberon. It is not a place for trolling, but a place to learn and explore the multifaceted landscape known as Tim World. Tim is an ancient 50-something year old vampire who is simultaneously older than God and more evil than Satan. His life story is one of much turmoil, and what we're left with today is something of a hate-robot. To every belief, he disagrees. Except some. He hates everything. Except the things you do.

In 70 years, Tim will return from the dead to slay all the stupid humans. By the time he's finished, the entire Earth will have disappeared. There will be no way for us to stop him, and all the guns will be gone. Unless you ask him if there won't be guns. In this case, the guns will simply have no effect. Regardless of these inconsistencies, the universe will have to be restarted from scratch.

All humans are a fuckup, because the entire universe is a fuckup. Tim likes to remind us of this by saying 'stupid humans' on an average of 56 times a day (we counted). Tim admits that he too is a stupid human, while simultaneously claiming to be an alien. He also does not bleed.

His current HPPD rating is: 7