this rabbit has anger problems


"I draw for a living. Like.. I draw, and I do art, and I paint and.. it's the WORST.. fucking.. thing.. ever?? and I hate it, and I hate art, and I hate me, and why can't I draw right ever?? -breaths in, and exhales loudly- This sucks. I hate art. Fuck art. Fuck you."


"People say I'm a self-insert Mary Sue slut, but the truth is I have fifty billion boyfriends, and they all love me, and you're just mad that I'm having way more fucking fun than you ever will. You know, what's your damage? Maybe you should try having 50 billion boyfriends too, because then you might not be such a salty jealous bitch. I'm just sayin."


"I ate so much fucking shit on the Fourth of July. I said I wouldn't, but then I did, and I totally fucked up my diet, and now I'm paying for it by working out in a hundred fucking degree weather. I hate my fucking life. I hate myself SO MUCH, WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!! WORK, BITCH!!!!"


"You can't fuck the cave from Aladdin, it'll chomp you in half and dissolve into sand. Sure, maybe that'll get you off but that's not IT'S problem, the thing has some very strict entry requirements, you think it's just gonna let in someone who's probably gonna stick the lamp up their ass?? Keep dreaming, pal."


"You know how there's always those people who are like 'yeah my son's like, 36 months old' and then you're just like 'bitch your son is three.' I think I'm gonna start doing that, you know, when I meet people I'm just gonna be like 'yeah I'm 228 months old' and they're gonna be like 'what the fuck does that mean' andImgonbelike 'you're the fucking mathematician, doing that stupid ass bullshit with your kid, why can't I do it with me, huh??' Fuck off."


"You know that painstaking agony you get in your bottom of your heart when you feel like a packet that you ordered isn't gonna come, but it's like the most important package of the month cause it's like the most important accessory, or maybe it's your cosplay itself and you're just having a fucking heart attack because no your package jumped from California, back to fucking Kansas and you're not gonna be able to see it for maybe another ten days. Congratufuckinglations, UPS. You fucking broke my heart."


"One thing I don't get is that everybody thinks cats are like the stupidest animal on earth. You know what the dumbest fucking animal on this planet is? Fucking mosquitoes. Like, they have no self-preservation instincts whatsoever, like even a wolf, if its like with a bear, it'll back off even if it's like spent twenty minutes trying to kill a deer? Mosquitoes don't do that, they just fucking keep sucking your blood and then they get crushed in the palm of your hand and it's like 'what are you doing? You're so fucking stupid and I hate you so much, stupid fucking bug. I hate you.'"


"I'm sick, and tired, that because I can talk in english, and my skin is white, that people say I am not Mexican -goes off on enraged tangent in spanish- (someone who can speak spanish please caption/translate?? that would be great) "

UPDATE:
<Anonymous> Hey I speak moderately ok Spanish and basically the Spanish tangent is saying that Mexicans have a lot of different skin colors and languages, "you shithead" and he/she (idfk) doesn't understand how stupid you bitches can be.
<Anonymous> and at the end there is a "goodbye" but you probs knew that.

Thanks Anon!!


"When my sister was little, she used to think that she was a cat, and so she would walk around meowing all the time and licking her hands, so I told her that if she was really a cat, she would shit in the litterbox. And she did."


"I once read a comparison to raising a baby, it's like taking care of a person who has taken way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. And it's like yeah that's true, I may not know what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be eating my car keys, and now you're just wiggling around on the floor everywhere, and now you're crying and I think it's cause you're hungry but you won't take the bottle, and I don't know why you're crying, you just SHIT YOURSELF FOR THE THIRD TIME TODAY AND I GOTTA CLEAN IT UP RRAUAUULLAARRGHH"


"I have this job fixing people's computers and this guy comes in one day with this messed-up-ass laptop right? so I start fixing his viruses and he just starts yelling at me about how my company makes the viruses so that they can charge money to fix it. So he's still yelling at me and I pull up his browser history and of course there's all this fucking porn on it, so I turn his laptop around towards him and I'm like 'I'm not the reason you have viruses. This is why you have viruses.' And then he got mad at me and reported me to my manager."



"HAHA, SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!! YOU thought you were getting cake but all you're getting is MY FURRY ASS!! And I'm here to remind you that you're still in zoobe hell. And you will be... forever. Ahahahaa! ahA! AAAHAHA, WWAAAHAHA!! HAAA AAhaHAA Aahoohaa heeuu -choking- "


"Why do men find the need to fucking catcall me all the time?? I just CAME TO WALMART to get some FUCKING VAGISIL, and they DRIVE BY in their car blaring their SHITTY MUSIC and they say 'Hey baby! Give me a smile!!' I'm not gonna smile, I have a FUCKING YEAST INFECTION!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!"


"listen to me, I did not spend 9 fucking years in art class learning proportions and shading and all that bullshit, just so someone could go shit out the minions one day, these little talking yellow buttplugs, and go make millions. Meanwhile my art struggles to get twelve fucking notes on tumblr and I'm living on goddamn cup noodles."


"listen up shit-tits, momma's gonna educate you. There is a movie called Coraline, released in 2009, it kinda scared the shit out of all of you and I see you guys post about it from time to time. And every damn time, one of you fucking penises decides that you are gonna tag 'tim burton' even though it's NOT a Tim Burton movie, and if you paid attention and didn't have your head so far up your ASS you would realize that the name Tim Burton never shows up once in the entire fucking movie. It's been six years, get your shit together."


"I AM VERY FUCKING CONVINCED THAT SPIDERS WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH JUST TO FUCK WITH ME. I WAS SITTING HERE MINDING MY OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS, AND A LITTLE TINY EIGHT-LEGGED ABOMINATION CAME AND CRAWLED AND SAT ON MY LEG. I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT UNTIL I LOOKED DOWN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I STOOD UP, I SCREAMED, AND IT JUST CRAWLED AWAY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT IS, I AM A PRISONER IN MY OWN HOME."

"You know, in all my years of seeing fucked up shit on the internet, and having to, just.. see things, you know, I never thought I'd have to fucking KINKSHAME A GOD DAMN MOBILE APP. FUCKING LOOK AT THIS SHIT. ARE YOU LOOKING AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING LOOK AT IT. Now I gotta kinkshame THIS, along with many other things. This is the worst thing I've seen in my fucking life, I hate this, I hate you, I hate that pig, I hate this app, I hate everything, fuck yall, GOODBYE."


"Holy shit, look at this thing. They had like this fuckin.. free zoobe promotion going on, until like Black Friday or something, so I was just scrolling through them and I saw this and... This is the worst fucking thing I have ever seen. It's fucking incredible. Holy shit I cannot believe they would do this. oh my god "


"Y'know, I really love going to conventions. I really love cosplaying. But I swear to god, if one more person hugs me and fucks up my cosplay, or fucks up my wig, I am going to fuck up their life."


"So I was eating dinner with one of my guy friends, and he has the audacity to look at me and say, 'Hey, your bra strap is showing." BITCH, I went out and bought the CUTEST bra just for me, my own satisfation, NOT so you can look at me and tell me 'Ooh, your purple bra strap is showing.' Bitch I don't give a shit about your opinion. Fuck off."


"Y'know, I remember a simpler time in the Steven Universe fandom, when we thought that the gayest thing possible was just.. Pearl. Just Pearl, being gay for everybody. And now, all of a sudden it's like, oh wait. Garnet. She's actually two lesbians in a trenchcoat. Do you ever get the feeling that Rebecca Sugar is just constantly trying to out-gay her own show? Shit's awesome.


"Don't you hate it when you're drawing at school, and you're enjoying yourself, and some loser just walks up, and looks you dead in the eye, and has that evil grin, and says 'can you draw a picture of me' like no bitch I only take commissions, you gotta fucking pay me to draw your fugly-ass face, and yeah, I draw my friends, thats because they're my fucking friends you fucking asshole. Now give me money or I won't draw your fugly face."


Tags: zoobe | videos | furry | lol