Bullshit Central 2010

Chad ims RedHeron, asking if he can ask a weird question, to which RedHeron answers yes. Chad goes on to say Madisin said Chad got chlamydia from RedHeron and gave it to her in some undisclosed point in time, and now he's getting tested, and RedHeron should get tested too, and asks if she would share her test results with him. RedHeron flips out and yells at him for a while. She's hurt that no one mentioned this to her sooner, and if people thought she had an STD why wouldn't they bring it up to HER instead of just talking about it amongst themselves? And for that matter, if they waited this long, why wouldn't he continue to wait until after he got back positive results? Also, he asked if she would go to the test WITH him, to which she said no. Cue butthurt response "Then obviously you don't care about me." Going to an STD test with a person is something an active partner would do, and RedHeron doesn't need this kind of stress in her life. She goes on to have small anxiety attacks about it for the rest of the afternoon, and now she is afraid to even have sex with her boyfriend for fear of giving him something. GREAT

Friendship annulled!

OH SHIT UPDATE MONTHS LATER: Turns out nobody has any STDs. A happy ending!

Kayimbo's dark magic destroys the cafe
In less than half a year, kayimbo managed to transform the cafe from being full of creativity and friendship, to being full of pettiness and too much greed, proving kayimbo is more powerful than LSD. Today the cafe lays empty, and the recent edits page is made up of bullshit central edit wars. The only upside is Devnil is forced to accept magic is real, and is probably learned by drinking Robotussin.

Anomaly rips off Madisin
After the rent is paid, anomaly collects 200 bucks from madisin despite the fact she hasn't been at the cafe in weeks. What a jerk.

The world sucks and everyone in it needs to just chill
It is really crap how our reality revolves around money. In related news, RedHeron isn't going to be around visiting so often! Your best bets are saturday nights, probably. If that's cool, guys. In the meantime, she'll be dealing with the next 2+ months with all of her money designated for stuff already. And then possibly losing her job. FUCK

Way to go for Being the (slightly) Better Person, MadiSin!

Easy: take a step back, take a deep breath, and understand that Heliotrope isn't EVIL, as written in her wetfish posting stating as a falsehood that MadiSin thinks or said this of her. This IS, however, a self-perception which she projects onto MadiSin, who used to really admire Heliotrope despite constant psychological and verbal abuse. MadiSin is attractive, kind, intelligent, and creative, and these things are mentioned because they're highly desirable traits to her husband, Fraggle. Heliotrope has seen Fraggle harmlessly flirt with MadiSin as he does with many gals, being in his nature to do so. Because Heliotrope has, in the past, been badly abused and neglected by her family and others, she is so afraid of being alone now as an adult that she will do and say anything in order to be assured that Fraggle will not run away with another girl. Even if this means sabotaging people's lives in heinous ways.

Heliotrope proceeds to tell MadiSin during a fight she (Heliotrope) starts) that she is not liked but only tolerated by her friends and roommates and asks me to go away. MadiSin naturally is heartbroken, a little paranoid, and highly confused as to why all of her friends would turn on her for no reason, so she leaves the Wetfish Cafe to take a breather and because she's hurt and humiliated. Minding her own business, staying away from the place to avoid drama, MadiSin a few days later receives an anonymous email which is quite evil. MadiSin's paranoia goes way up, and begins to think her friends are out to get her. Fights ensue between a number of people, as everybody begins to suspect others of doing strange things to each other, like who the anonymous email was from. Towards the end, a couple of her friends deduct that MadiSin may have sent the email to herself in order to start drama. The header address pointed at the apartment she was living in.

Lat night however, MadiSin discovers an evil posting OPENLY from Heliotrope stating that people cant wait to get rid of her, that MadiSin's manipulative, and whiny, and starts drama for attention, that MadiSin is an ungrateful bitch. Thing is: the posting contained many very specific details written the exact same way as the email, and in the same tone. Hmmm. MadiSin believes that this is Heliotrope's passive-aggressive way of saying "fuck you, I DID write the evil email and I don't give a shit." MadiSin has been victim to Heliotrope in the past-- her rumors that had her kicked out of Elberon, her lashing out at her in anger over and over, treating her in general like an asswipe unless she needed her for something.

MadiSin now knows that her friends weren't mad at her until Heliotrope started all the drama to (sucessfully) chase me off so that she and her hubby could come visit without having to make sure Fraggle isn't checking out MadiSin's butt or something. MADISIN KNOWS THIS IS NOT ALL ENTIRELY HELIOTROPE'S FAULT. SHE HAS UNRESOLVED (BUT SERIOUS) ISSUES FROM HER PAST THAT DO AND ALWAYS WILL KEEP HER FROM HAVING NORMAL, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS UNLESS SHE SEEKS THE RIGHT KIND OF HELP AND CAN BEGIN TO ADMIT TO HER WRONGDOINGS, WHICH LATELY ARE DOWNRIGHT FUCKED UP.

Now, while she understands that Heliotrope is ill, she will NEVER put herself in the position to almost have all of her friends ripped from her, as well as her sanity, pride, and integrity. She is a toxin to many of her friends (and especially MadiSin) and Bf's or GF's, whether they realize it or not, as she can be very seductive and charming. Its all part of her game. But with MadiSin, the games end, and unless she makes a profoundly good case for herself by drastically changing, will refuse to let Heliotrope anywhere near her.

Get some help, girl! Please learn to love yourself, or at least like yourself!!!

Beware, the Wetfish Cafe is full of vermin, sick fucks who go through other people's shit and STEAL BUTTPLUGS FOR THEIR OWN SICK GAY PLEASURE. You all make me sick!

"Jeff there's kids in the car why are you yelling in front of the kids!"
"Because these people are VERMIN! With no self-esteem who let HEROIN ADDICTS live with them!"

"Justin I don't have a bone to pick with you, but THESE GUYS, JUST YOU WAIT, THEY'LL TURN ON YOU!!!"

Heliotrope sets everybody straight!

Yes, that's right MadiSin. Ashley is evil, Fraggle is a douchebag, Devnill and Rachel just don't care and everyone but Pete and Anomaly is out to get you for no reason- even the crazy group of people called Klusterphuck who will deal with nearly anyone. The people who stood up for you and helped you when no one else would, the people who spent time and effort and feelings to be your friends turned on you for no reason and decided to make your life miserable. The same people who accept pretty much everyone, and give of themselves more than any group of friends I've encountered. Or maybe its that you're a delusional person who must seek out enemies and melodramatic conflict no matter where you are? And that you're an expert at rewriting events such that you're the longsuffering matyr? If anyone believes what you've written about yourself below, so be it; getting to know you or talking to any in this group of friends or in Klusterphuck (with the exception of your enablers, Anomaly and Pete) will quickly disavow them of that misconception. Fortunately, you and your manipulations and invented strife will be out of our lives forever soon. Good riddance.

MadiSin is Liable for Someone Else's Liquid Truth and the Damage it Causes

Mike brings some of his old school homies by The Wetfish Cafe, and they seem pretty chill at first. Then Mike asks MadiSin to go to the store and pick up some 4Loco's for them since none of them are of age. Oh well, whatever. We're all entitled to drink in her book as long as they are legal adults, and MadiSin used to drink underage as well. So she's not going to be an uptight, hypocritical bitch and not pick up the drinks for them.

Mike's pals get wasted after chugging their Black Outs in a Can in 30 minutes, one of them pukes all over MadiSin's bed, and her sheets, carpet, and favorite fuzzy blanket are covered in vomit for at least 24 hours. During the 4Loco chugging, (after the vomiting and the "other guy" talking about how he almost killed a babymama and babies with no ill feelings) Mike reiterates the fact that he needs to separate himself from his father, something he's been saying for a week, then proceeds to tell MadiSin that he is certain that his father has been stealing from her. To this she replies that Mikey J. does need to leave The Wetfish Cafe if he is stealing.

Halloween rolls around, its the 31st of the month (duh) and Ashley and Fraggle come over for drinks and socializing. MadiSin mentions in front of them to Mike that the next day was the 1st, and his dad needed to leave. Mike snaps at MadiSin that "If my Dad goes, I go", and she replies in a sour tone that he is being manipulative, because she feels that Mike knows MadiSin loves her and wants to see him around and do the good things for himself he was talking about earlier, then renig'd on it to make her look like an asshole.

Ashley gets pissed, not knowing the full situation, and yells at MadiSin for fucking with Mike, and in anger tells her in so many words that since Mike's "been around longer" that MadiSin has no room to talk schmack to or about Mike. MadiSin is heartbroken that her friend won't hear her out and goes and cries in her room for an hour. Mike eventually comes in to her room after a little bong-breaking, bonding incident brought on by cops, apologizes to MadiSin, and tells her in front of Anomaly and Jalani that he is sorry that he isn't able to stick to Ashley about what really happened because he really needs to keep a roof over he and his father's head, which she understands, sadly, but MadiSin is still really frustrated.

The next day, MadiSin comes home after visiting her kids, and both Mikes have left Wetfish. She is sad to see that Mike is gone, and even more sad that he has taken off with the laptop she had given him to use while he was in the house, without even leaving it for her to take important files off.

KEY DRAMA: MadiSin hears that Mike told several of her friends that he was drunk when he was talking about separating from his dad (though he'd talked about this before) and that it is her fault that he admitted to something he shouldn't have while drunk because MadiSin was the one who bought them booze. SO it is all MadiSin's fault. Damn her to hell for providing booze for the underage pow-wow.

Ashley will barely speak to MadiSin and MadiSin misses her, a couple of her friends became very wary of her since she stood up for herself for a change and got shit on, her laptop is gone, and she feels guilty for shit that was not her fault in the least. BUT there are only two people she can think of on the face of this planet she will EVER buy alcohol for again if they are underage. Unless she is paid big moolah.

Don't Let Anomaly Drive
After PDF, Pete and RedHeron find out that Anomaly only has his learner's permit, and RedHeron decides to take over his shift driving home. Later at Wawa, Anomaly demands to be allowed to drive and RedHeron, feeling too shitty to deal with any bullshit and not realizing it's illegal for someone with only a permit to drive outside the state it's issued in, gives him the keys. Cut to New Jersey, where Anomaly hits another car while backing out of a parking spot. RedHeron immediately demands to drive and examines the damage. Fraggle's car is slightly damaged, but the other car only has a scuff on the bumper, so they decide to just drive away because everyone is tired and irritable and wants to go home and shower.

Tuesday morning, a Trooper knocks on Fraggle's door. Turns out, some bystanders saw the whole thing and took down the plate numbers. Now Anomaly has to go to court in New Jersey. He calls RedHeron and tells her she has to go too, which is untrue according to pretty much everyone else she's asked. RedHeron has an anxiety attack at work and has to go sit down. This is poopy. :( <3 ) Her boss threatens to put Anomaly into the meat grinder if he pulls any more shit, but she wisely decides not to inform him of this to avoid further stupid.

Funny how the whole story (mostly regarding Anomaly's demanding to drive on an illegal permit) doesn't come out until all of the other driving drama has already caused drama after drama after drama and starts destroying friendships and relationships.

"Rey" deletes big rant by Adrian
Someone going by the name Rey deletes a huge chunk of this page that Adrian had wrote trying to defend himself against the hacking of his facebook account, allegedly by devnill. Being the only edit from that IP so far, it seems awfully suspicious that a stranger would target the entirety of that section specifically, while leaving the rest alone. Adrian hasn't been around for almost two days now and is probably living somewhere else, which doesn't help his case. Who knows what will happen next?

Rachel Devnill and Pete totally sneak out without saying goodbye while BoomZilla is in the back room ! =O

People figure out they can post under other people's names. Five crickets are discovered applauding and are quickly silenced.

nckomodo refuses to write about Ro
Ro comes over and smokes blunts. Ask if she can get a shot from devnill. Devnill says he's running low. Ro feels entitled to devnills alcohol because she gives him things ALL THE TIME yo, devnill counters that it is presumptuous to assume that she is entitled to it and an argument ensues. Ro she flips out and leaves, saying "I've gotta go. I can't be around all this greed." Nckomodo loses the not-it because he started it, but still refuses to write about the event.

This is what actually happenedNO IT'S ALL A LIE GUYS

Devnill cockblocks rachel repeatedly, convincing kayimbo mIRC is a virus. Kayimbo gets freaked out and tells rachel to stop using his computer.
Tim runs away
Cops show up at the Wetfish Cafe
Ro disappears

No hookers!
You heard me.

Cordero and Devnill get in an argument
The most recent of several arguments, but this one is unique in that everyone was there and Anomaly recorded it on her computer. The quality isn't very good because of the ambient noise and that the computer was in Anomaly's room but there's 10 minutes of prime drama for your listening pleasure.
Click here for the full recording.
Shorter highlight clips will come later tonightNEVAR

River_god invites Cordero over to GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER YO and Cordero procedes to play video games for 10-14 days because he can't apply for a job without an ID. Word. He can master pick yo. Devnill continues to be a computer head and has no sympathy for him because devnill is a JERK. Ro tells Cordero he can have his shit back but he blows her off twice. She flips MAD SHIT YO and ragequits from the wetfish cafe. Apparently Nckomodo obviously wants to suck corderos penis because he is mad streets yo.


Jeff threatens Adrian direly, because he is bald and jealous of Adrian's colourful do.
"I have a 5am overfull diaper with your face's name on it. I could not be more serious."

Adrian tactfully replies, "I don't think you're taking into consideration the way most animal feed-grades of straw split when you're peeling them underwater -- It's really different."

Rachel and Heliotrope Swap Chunks
After the Highway Thrills & Spills incident, it's only fair Heliotrope gets to puke all over Rachel. Fortunately, Heliotrope is a professional and managed to land it in the bathroom sink. She looks for Rachel to apologize profusely, but it's no big deal yo. Rachel gets some plastic bags to clean it up and the two hug. WHAT A NICE BONDING EXPERIENCE.

RedHeron butts in!
RedHeron would just like to say to Anomaly, "it's not quite so funny when it's happening to you, now, is it?" in regards to Rachel not understanding the concept of feelings. But she still loves Anomaly, because she is not a cold unfeeling robot.

Roland Misses The Bank
Roland is awakened by a friend and is asked to smoke some dankity dank and to wang out at the Festurvus. After retrieving the dank the gang arrives and enjoys a game of kart and travels to the mall to pick up Slade's paycheck. Once they returned to the Festurvus the day had already gone by and Roland never picked up his paycheck and forgot the trip the bank! Wow, what a story!

"Mysterious" Editor Trolls Roland
Roland removes non-drama from the drama page. Adrian going to the supermarket to poop is not drama. It's just something that happened. Which is why it was moved to Adrian's page. A mysterious editor, posing as rossthefox claims Roland is trying to cover something up, which is why it's obviously still available on Adrian's page. I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

Supermarket Restrooms
Adrian walks to Hannafuck to shit and buy groceries, but their restroom is almost out of paper. He walks to Price Fucker, but their restroom is splattered with shit everywhere. He returns to Hannafuck, makes do, awards himself a pastry and goes home. His intestines are still in pain.

Annoy-a-tron Deluxe
Rachel's Account

Beep. Beep. Beep. What's that? Beep. Beep. I swear, there's something beeping. Beep. Maybe it's the smoke alarm? ... ... Beep. ... Beep. Beep. Beep. Alright, it's definitely coming from the pipes. Beep. Maybe the fish did it. Beep. Beep. Beep. ... Beep. ... Beep. Beep. It must be attached to Anomaly. Beep. Is it the power strip? Well, maybe it's in my laptop? Beep. Look, here's a Beep. video of a macbook making the same noise! Beep. I guess it's a driver issue, looks like it's time to upg-Beep-rade. ... Beep. Devnill puts it on the fridge. Beep. Beep. Beep. Anomaly threatens to pull a Dick Mona, ends up rubbing it on his anus.

   ~Anomaly on Rachel laughing about it.

Anomaly's Account
Devnill puts an annoy-a-tron in Anomaly's room. He does a very good acting job in convincing everyone else that it's not his doing. He eventually puts it on the fridge to show everyone. Anomaly is pissed because she had thought it was her computer, and it's the kind of sound hard drives make before they fail, and threatens to destroy the Annoy-a-trons are used again. Rachel continues to show more evidence towards a lack of understanding of interpersonal skills, and apparently thinks one sternly spoken line is "being yelled at".

Devnill is a JEW
Devnill offers to buy Ro a blunt if she saved her money for a week and bought a quarter instead of dime bags every day. Ro thinks devnill is saying she's addicted to drugs. Proceeds to yell at devnill for being a complete asshole, hated by everyone. Corderro, Mike, Anomaly, Adrian, anyone, you name it, hates devnill because he's a greedy jew who never contributes. Always smokes everyone's weed and never smokes anyone up. His parents would be ashamed. See, the thing is, Ro is a human, with human problems and devnill is too much of a computer head to understand what that means. Devnill becomes banned from her apartment after this.

Wait wait wait, I thought DEVNILL called RO a Jew, mooch, and a weed whore? :O

Jetsam was found stuck to the ceiling, completely free of flotsam.

Highway Thrills & Spills
Rachel gets blackout drunk, drinking a bottle of wine with Ro after already being intoxicated enough not to remember anything. The group makes its way back to Heliotrope's car starting the journey back to Albany. Ro asks if Rachel's feeling sick, but Rachel's one of those "oh no I'm fine I'm not that drunk I swear" people. Almost into Albany, Rachel starts feeling queezy. She holds her hands out, trying to catch the vile steamy liquid, while Heliotrope is forced to keep driving because there's no place to stop on the off-ramp. Rachel throws it out the window, but it still ended up all over her purse, the car seat, Ro, and Fraggle.

Rachel Pushes Ro Off a Moving Golf Cart
Rachel, Ro, nckomodo, Fraggle, and Heliotrope go to have a swim. Rachel gets really drunk. Ro and her get on a golf cart, and Rachel drives so fast that Ro, who is holding onto something, can't hold on to the cart and falls off, which is pretty bad considering she has rods in her back and they can fuck her up if she falls on them the wrong way. Rachel then refuses to give her the wheel, and they disappear into the house for a while and possibly have sex. Rachel can't remember if they did.

Ro reminds everyone of this repeatedly.

Anomaly's Accusation and Cover-up
Anomaly, wanting to forget this silly incident, deletes the blurb. Roland adds it back so Anomaly adds a blurb to Roland's article. This prompts the creation of this page. No bitchfight ensues, it's only made to look that way by Roland and Rachel. Every time someone makes some criticism they make said person look as foolish as rossthefox (i.e., this edit, or the image on this side of this page). Why? Nobody knows. Maybe it has to do with Theory of Mind again.

It doesn't really matter in the end. Yes, Anomaly is a bitch. So? What of it? All that matters is more acid or shrooms are needed.

Roland's Vindication
Roland, long time friend of Rachel takes offense to The Great Punch Incident. In retaliation, he writes a short blurb about the event on Anomaly's article.

The Great Punch Incident
Anomaly wants to be a girl. She moves in with Rachel. Rachel thinks that since she started living as a girl while still hormonally male, then everyone can do it too, and repeatedly tells Anomaly to "Try Harder." She apparently doesn't realize not everyone has the confidence or self-realization to be able to do this, and that her course of action is far from typical in the trans community. She also doesn't realize how annoying constantly telling someone to "try harder" is. Why? Nobody knows. Maybe she lacks an understanding of fundamental interpersonal skills, or she just doesn't care. Either way, taking more acid would fix this problem. Anyway, Anomaly is filled with shameful, impotent rage. She never expected a someone she trusted to be so (apparently) mean to her. Rachel tries to justify her actions by saying (paraphrased), "I would have loved to have had someone to encourage me along." Anomaly says she appreciates the intention, but not the methods of executing it. Rachel ignores this.

Later that day, Adrian is walking home from work in the rain. Devnill and Rachel are both too drunk to drive, so Rachel walks over to the bathroom to ask Anomaly to drive. Hearing Rachel's voice in a tone similar to that of when Rachel was saying "Try Harder" drives Anomaly into the impotent rage again. When Anomaly does open the door, she almost punches Rachel in the face, but because of the tweezers in her hand, contact is made and the skin broken. It is a shameful, childish release of Anomaly's anger, but she was driven to such an edge by Rachel that she couldn't get rid of it any other way. Anomaly does in fact say, "I'm Sorry," but Rachel ignores this and goes to make fun of Anomaly on the internet.

Tags: Wetfish Cafe | Drama