Your mouth should be watering for pizza right now. Took millions of years to get to this point you DAMN WELL BETTER BE EXCITED FOR IT!

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I now do Pizzapathy. When I have a headache, I eat a pizza tonno. And 2-20 hours later, the headache is gone, as if it never existed. Sometimes, though, the headaches get worse after eating the pizza. That's how I know that the pizza is actually working. That's the so-called "initial worsening". But usually after another pizza and a bit of rest, the headaches vanish.

But you can't just eat a pizza tonno, what pizza works for you depends on what pizza type you are. For a friend of mine, cardinale is the weapon of choice when it comes to fighting headaches. Best you first make a pizza type consultation to have an expert in Pizzapathy tell you which pizza is the best for you. It's not really cheap, though, and you may have to try a lot of pizzas before you find your type, but there's no way around it, unfortunately.

The pizzas are from a German company called "Dr. Oetker". As you can see in the name, it was developed by a doctor, so it's a sensible medical product. Still, insurances don't pay for therapeuthic pizzas due to a conspiracy by the pharma lobby who knows exactly that nobody would swallow their expensive pills anymore if people knew that all they have to do is eat some tasty pizzas to cure their ailments.

Another problem that comes along with this is that sometimes, when the pizzas don't work, it's usually due to sloppy handling by the stores who may have packed them close to Chinese food (pizza has a memory, you see, and it is slighty racist, I fear. Or maybe just doesn't like the competition, I don't know, I'm not really a pizza expert, more still a student of pizzalology). It is about time we start lobbying that these important cures for critical human diseases get treated with the respect they deserve and don't get thrown about by workers who do not understand their role in the health system. It is time that therapeutic pizzas may only be sold by certified Pizzapathy experts.

And don't tell me that's all just placebo effect and imagination. HE WHO CURES IS RIGHT!
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