go slow.
read this whole thing.
its super easy to tear a butthole!
if there is blood you're doing it wrong, something got torn.
your butthole is full of poop jerms, you can literally kill someone by say, stabbing them with a knife with poop on it; having your butthole torn allows some of this horrifying bacteria into your own body
Microtears happen when you don't use enough lube and there's too much friction. They can appear as blotchy bloody patches. On a weiner they can show up as thin lines perpendicular to the shaft, or as blotches. They can feel like soreness, tenderness, or immense pain. They greatly increase risk of infection and spread of STDs / STIs. You can't put a bandage on em..
1-prep
first you'll need to poop.
secondly a lot of you are gonna wanna to use an enema, because doo doo on the dick is the ultimate shame. penises are natural little liquid/air pumps and tend to pump out liquid while pumping in air, which is why you're going to have lots of little farts!
you want to enema at most XX minutes/hours before hand.
2-lube
lube is way more important for butt stuff because lube for vaginas is supposed to last "until your bodies natural juices kick in" which, well, you don't have any of those in you butt.
use a thicker lube like astroglide, ideally an oil based lube like coconut oil or silicon base (which literally never dries up). oil based lubes complete negate condoms, so, get tested!
3-stretch
going from nothing to penis is a big jump. you need to gently stretch that butthole out, starting with a fingertip and working up to whatever dick you're trying to get in there, which might be the size of two or three fingers! or an ENTIRE FIST
toys help a lot in stretching out the butthole, but they should definitely have a flared base-this is the super wide flange at the bottom of "butt plugs", which is far too wide to just slip into the butthole.
4-toys
a note on toys: its common for newbies to want to use whatever they have laying around. do not do this. pencils, hairbrushes, bottles of wine, all have gotten stuck up butts. a buttplug is like $20 amazon please go get one, or just pipe up in IRC *someone will buy you one* jesus christ.
here is why: bits break off, or the entire thing SLIPS inside (no flared base) and either turns sideways or is just too big to get out. the gods are cruel and what goes INTO your butt is strictly decoupled from what can come OUT of your butt. This is why you might lay a shit log the thickness of your wrist but can only fit a finger up there!
5-nerve endings
okay so MOST of the fun nerve endings are around the anus. some lucky people can just come from that.
if you were born with a prostate you definitely wanna get some stimulation on that, it owns.
if you've got a G-spot you can kinda hit it from the anal wall and i'm 100% not sure how this works because none of my partners really got point #6 down
6-communication
talk to your partner about what you do and don't like. maybe you don't even know what you like! say this. maybe there's something lots of people like and you hate! say this. don't expect anyone to magically know what you like, or that there's a "right way" to do stuff.
i swear to god if you yell at me for not doing something "like they do in porn" i'm gonna put on my pants and leave.
be sure to let your partner know if things are moving too fast, you don't want to tear something up! if you're the "experienced" one they're probably going to rely on you to know things about safety and what have you. sheesh.
7-positions
laying on your front, doggy style, laying on your back. these are probably the most comfortable way to do it; laying on your front you can get your front walls tagged, which is usually nice.
you probably can't do all of these
These are designed for vagina fucking but I think some might work anally too. Pls post below ur success with various methods. It is really hard to edit this wiki on Android because the text box does not resize itself to the size of the screen. I wonder when rachel is gonna make the bot report to irc when someone edits the wiki..
Anyway I almost never do doggy in either hole because it tends to just be "too much" plus I can't see those sweet sweet titties, very important to me!
8-disaster recovery
if you lose a toy up there, you have to go to the doctor. that's it. you're probably not "pooping it out" and you're gonna tear something up if you try to!
if there's blood, a lot of blood.. oh man I don't know. you might die from sepsis, this is a real thing.
